ESPN - Too Much of a Good Thing?
ESPN began as a local Connecticut cable network back in the early 1980s. I remember we used to get it when I lived in the New Haven area in 1980 or 1981, back when your cable box was roughly the size of your toaster, and sat on top of the TV with a bunch of push-buttons for each channel. Most of the time during the day the channel was dark, and other than SportsCenter the programming they did have was pretty esoteric - rodeos, tracter pulls, Australian Rules Football.
Well now ESPN has either outgrown its capabilities to entertain, or it's getting back to its roots. My cable company carries four different ESPN networks - the original, ESPN2, ESPN News, and ESPN Classic, and their programming choices are getting pretty thin. On IRC today, Samwise reported viewing a curling match on ESPN Sunday - that's the national sport of Canada, played with barrels, brooms, and (one would assume) copious amounts of beer. Earlier that same day I caught a glimpe of a bowling skills competition, essentially a trick-shot exhibition put on by PBA professional bowlers. I guess these shows became necessary once the network wore out the tapes of the final table of the Pot Limit Omaha tournament at this year's WSOP.
Then tonight, ESPN outdid itself. ESPN is owned by Disney Corp, which also owns ABC, so there is a long-standing policy of putting absolute dreck on ESPN networks when a major sporting event is being televised on ABC. If you ever tuned in during a Monday Night Football game, you'd know excatly what I mean (ice dancing? women's volleyball?! fucking CHEERLEADING?!?!). Well tonight ESPN was televising Major League Baseball nationally, so ESPN2 got the unique honor of airing the National Paintball Championships. Picture a 40-yard course littered with oversized Little Gym climbing equipment, and populated by a bunch of Gen-Xers in full body armor barking out positions and strategies, playing 'capture the flag' while firing hundred of rounds of paint at each other. It was absolutely ridiculous.... and for about twenty minutes I couldn't look away. I never thought I'd see a sporting event that would make me miss the World's Strongest Man competition, but this did.
One other TV note - I happened to surf past '
Cradle 2 the Grave' on TBS tonight, and I was extremely amused to see that actor playing the villian was also chariman's nephew on '
Iron Chef America'. I always knew that role was typecast.
